Good, Bad, and Indifferent: Fuck It No More

The last thing anyone can do is give a man ample time to think; when it occurs, things, events, and words find a way to converge and perfectly link...and it came to this particular truth. The train didn't stop, because I slammed on the brakes. It came to a halt, because the journey became way too much for you to take.

It all makes sense now; it's never been about me, because there's no sign of this man being confused. Sure, it may cross your mind on occasion, but my soul's been the one that's been battered and abused.

Expressing these thoughts won't change a thing; it's not gonna bring those times back. It'll just continue to make me look like a fool, especially since your train seems to be running smooth now, and totally on track. More power to ya, and it's time for me to go ahead, and follow right along. It's time to compose a brand-new verse, and stop singin' the same old song.

7/10/09 @ 5:34 A.M.

Just Thinkin' About You/Hope All Has Been Well

It's amazing how a simple message can set off a deeper emotion. It's exactly why, in this case, it's hard for me to subscribe to this particular type of notion. We know each other well enough to realize it isn't a quick check-up, or just to drop some kind words. Once those words have been exchanged, the door will soon open, and into it, we've both been lured...

But maybe it was just that; a quick check-up, and nothing more. Then again, there was date number one, two, three, and even number four. There was Barnes and Noble, and Half Price Books, on a Saturday night at that. A couple of chairs and the occasional foot-stool is where we sat. It was definitely a first, and a story we didn't have to wait for time to tell. It's instances like these that'll trigger a simple message that I'm...

...just thinkin' about you/hope all has been well.

Books were read together, word-for-word, and we'd soon discuss what we saw. Then we'd go find the movie version, and get pissed when the script and the author weren't on the same page at all. To share that kind of connection was unique, something I enjoyed all too well. It's instances like those which trigger the simple message that I'm...

...just thinkin' about you/hope all has been well.

We laughed when he was poplockin' on stage, but remained captivated as he went through song-after-song. Then he came in the crowd and held his tune, while we grooved and sung right along. The same couldn't be said about the dudes servin' food over at Spring Creek. It was pretty much agreed that if they were to take their act on the road, there's no way it would even last a week. Plenty of other events were shared, but I think you get the drift. And through it all, time spent with you was the most priceless type of gift. It's safe to say a simple gesture has always been much more, and this, you can plainly tell. And even though things have changed, this one remains a fixture, when the message comes across that reads...

...just thinkin' about you/hope all has been well.

7/1/09 @ 1:15 A.M.

Photo by Collins Metu

All Hail The Thriller.

Bad Dream

Dammit, just had another one.

Add 'em all together, and it seems like they'd equal a ton.

No matter how much my mind appears to be at ease, it's been an eternity since a dream has been peaceful, or remotely close to fun...

...but there's gotta be better ones ahead, so I'll resist the urge to run.

6/23/09 @ 12:56 A.M.

Photo by Nicholas Ong

Mental (Interlude)

Imagine someone inspiring you to wanna know more, like you felt the need to be smarter. The desire to do even more, internally, continued to grow even larger, and while doing so, you found yourself reaching ever so farther. Times spent together were equally enjoyable, and in 'em, both of us would revel. Never before has this been the case...where anyone made me feel more of a thrill to get on their level.

6/14/09 @ 9:04 P.M.

Photo by Clifton Henri

Reflections: Fuck It Part Four

...so I saw you today, but it wasn't exactly the way it seems. It wasn't in the physical, yet it also didn't occur in my dreams. You were far away, yet close enough to touch. Never in my wildest days would I have believed a woman could possibly consume my thoughts THIS MUCH.

When's the day gonna come, when the sight of your face doesn't make a brother reflect and go back? Why is it this train of mine can never seem to stay it's course, and ends up running off-track...just at the sight of your mere vision. You know now these words are directed one way, and it's you I've been missin'...and on top of that, I'd be lying to myself for thinking if you wanted to talk that I'd be unreceptive to listen.

Sooner or later, come hell or high water; whether the day is tomorrow, or it's way down farther...the words will come out, and they won't merely be said, they'll be done. At this point, it seems like an eternity for the title of these poems to have some concrete meaning, and to finally ring true, but the day's gonna come when I'm done pinin' over this, and I'll officially be over you.

6/9/08 @ 11:19 P.M.

Photo by Clifton Henri

Love is a Four-Letter Word, But So Is Evil: Fuck It Part Three

The title of this is kinda misleading. The subject itself is not evil, by any means. She's actually a great woman; things just didn't work out. There's no love, but there's a really, really, REALLY strong like. I'm not quite to "charge it to the game" status yet, but I'm gettin' closer to being there everyday. Til then, words will be dug out from deep within, until there's nothing left to say...

Not too sure why the title is as such, other than the fact that it's definitely true. Never woulda thought a feeling would come over like this, due to actions between me and you. People say the best way to get over something, or someone, is to acknowledge its existence, and impact. Problem is, the good can be addressed all day, but it doesn't change the unmistakable fact...that things have changed.

Sure, maybe it can be patched up, but does it really even matter anymore? Maybe words and thoughts can be exchanged, yet things may never be like they were once before. In a sense, that's why something can be good, yet still be bad. Like realizing these words are therapeudic on one hand, but once they run out, the night will still end with me feelin' sad.

There's a part that wants to act like this shit doesn't even matter, like it aint no big deal, but if that part was to take over, there's no way that would be honest or keepin' it real. That's why times like this will continue to be bittersweet; realizing the irony of love and evil finding a way to co-exist, despite the fact this was never how they intended to meet...

6/3/09 @ 12:26 A.M.

Photo by Clifton Henri